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Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.
#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain #year
The diagram illustrates the figure of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 who explore the Britain tourist
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
 in 1999. It clearly shows 4 areas (
Theme
Parks
, Wildlife
Parks
, Historic Houses, Museums and Galleries) where people visit the most. The small table
further
elaborate
Wrong verb form
elaborates
show examples
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the percentage of people who explored
Theme
Parks
Change noun form
Park's
Parks'
show examples
 serene sides. In 1999, tourist around the world visits Britain to see the mesmerizing places of that country.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 large amount of them
visit
Change the verb form
visits
show examples
Theme
 Park. The least visited area of
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
 is Wildlife
Parks
. The
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
 of people
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
show examples
 Historic Houses is
also
 quite low. Most of them would like to go
either
Change preposition
to either
show examples
Theme
Parks
 or Museums & Galleries. The vast majority visits
Theme
 Park in the year 1999.
From
Change preposition
Of
show examples
 100% of
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
masses
Add a comma
,masses
show examples
 38% visited these
parks
. They
further
 discuss from the above mention percentage around half went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The rest of them visits Alton Towers, Pleasureland, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland. Among
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 the most visited places
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 Alton Towers and the least visited places are Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words theme, parks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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