The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.
The diagram illustrates the figure of
masses
who explore the Britain tourist Correct article usage
the masses
sides
in 1999.
It clearly shows 4 areas (Fix the agreement mistake
side
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
, Wildlife Use synonyms
Parks
, Historic Houses, Museums and Galleries) where people visit the most. The small table Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
elaborate
Wrong verb form
elaborates
about
the percentage of people who explored Change preposition
on
Theme
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Parks
serene sides.
In 1999, tourist around the world visits Britain to see the mesmerizing places of that country. Change noun form
Park's
Parks'
The
large amount of them Correct article usage
A
visit
Change the verb form
visits
Theme
Park. The least visited area of Use synonyms
Britian
is Wildlife Correct your spelling
Britain
Parks
. The Use synonyms
ration
of people Correct your spelling
ratio
visited
Historic Houses is Correct pronoun usage
who visited
also
quite low. Most of them would like to go Linking Words
either
Change preposition
to either
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
or Museums & Galleries.
The vast majority visits Use synonyms
Theme
Park in the year 1999. Use synonyms
From
100% of Change preposition
Of
Correct article usage
the masses
masses
38% visited these Add a comma
,masses
parks
. They Use synonyms
further
discuss from the above mention percentage around half went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The rest of them visits Alton Towers, Pleasureland, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland. Among Linking Words
them
the most visited places Add a comma
,them
is
Alton Towers and the least visited places are Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland.Change the verb form
are
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words theme, parks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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