The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.
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The diagram illustrates the figure of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
who explore the Britain tourist
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
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in 1999. It clearly shows 4 areas (
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
Use synonyms
, Wildlife
Parks
Use synonyms
, Historic Houses, Museums and Galleries) where people visit the most. The small table
further
Linking Words
elaborate
Wrong verb form
elaborates
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about
Change preposition
on
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the percentage of people who explored
Theme
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Parks
Change noun form
Park's
Parks'
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serene sides. In 1999, tourist around the world visits Britain to see the mesmerizing places of that country.
The
Correct article usage
A
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large amount of them
visit
Change the verb form
visits
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Theme
Use synonyms
Park. The least visited area of
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
is Wildlife
Parks
Use synonyms
. The
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
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of people
visited
Correct pronoun usage
who visited
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Historic Houses is
also
Linking Words
quite low. Most of them would like to go
either
Change preposition
to either
show examples
Theme
Use synonyms
Parks
Use synonyms
or Museums & Galleries. The vast majority visits
Theme
Use synonyms
Park in the year 1999.
From
Change preposition
Of
show examples
100% of
Correct article usage
the masses
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masses
Add a comma
,masses
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38% visited these
parks
Use synonyms
. They
further
Linking Words
discuss from the above mention percentage around half went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The rest of them visits Alton Towers, Pleasureland, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland. Among
them
Add a comma
,them
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the most visited places
is
Change the verb form
are
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Alton Towers and the least visited places are Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words theme, parks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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