The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.

#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain #year

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The diagram illustrates the figure of

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

who explore the Britain tourist

sides

Fix the agreement mistake

side

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in 1999. It clearly shows 4 areas (

Theme

Use synonyms

Parks

Use synonyms

, Wildlife

Parks

Use synonyms

, Historic Houses, Museums and Galleries) where people visit the most. The small table

further

Linking Words

elaborate

Wrong verb form

elaborates

show examples

about

Change preposition

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the percentage of people who explored

Theme

Use synonyms

Parks

Change noun form

Park's

Parks'

show examples

serene sides. In 1999, tourist around the world visits Britain to see the mesmerizing places of that country.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

large amount of them

visit

Change the verb form

visits

show examples

Theme

Use synonyms

Park. The least visited area of

Britian

Correct your spelling

Britain

is Wildlife

Parks

Use synonyms

. The

ration

Correct your spelling

ratio

show examples

of people

visited

Correct pronoun usage

who visited

show examples

Historic Houses is

also

Linking Words

quite low. Most of them would like to go

either

Change preposition

to either

show examples

Theme

Use synonyms

Parks

Use synonyms

or Museums & Galleries. The vast majority visits

Theme

Use synonyms

Park in the year 1999.

From

Change preposition

show examples

100% of

Correct article usage

the masses

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masses

Add a comma

,masses

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38% visited these

parks

Use synonyms

. They

further

Linking Words

discuss from the above mention percentage around half went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The rest of them visits Alton Towers, Pleasureland, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland. Among

them

Add a comma

,them

show examples

the most visited places

Change the verb form

are

show examples

Alton Towers and the least visited places are Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland.

Mon Jan 13 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words theme, parks with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think that politicians should always be honest while others feel that there are times when they must lie. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion