The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

#amount #leisure #time #centers #trend #influences #youths #society

Nowadays, the adolescents visit shopping malls as a recreational activity which may result in drastic effects. I completely agree that

this

recent practice is making youngsters materialistic and unhealthy.

First

of all, using leisure time in shopping centres tend to make people materialistic and extravagant. The teenagers are vulnerable target audience as well as psychologically and cognitively rather immature.

Moreover

, there is a trend among

newer generation

Suggestion

the newer generation

newer generations

a newer generation

to show

off which

Accept comma addition

off, which

leads to competition in the society. Because of that, a lot of youngsters end up buying things that are not even

needed which

Accept comma addition

needed, which

ultimately disrupt their foundation while setting them on

wrong path

Suggestion

the wrong path

For instance

, a survey in Australia, in 2010, showed that teenagers were buying jewellery, notably diamond rings or necklace, mostly to show off their status and how well-off they are.

Secondly

, while strolling in malls, one comes across a lot of

food

stalls. It is already apparent that the youth population prefers unhealthy dining options rather than a well-balanced and home cooked diet.

Also

, the

food

areas has very tempting sight and aroma which compels people to buy it. Not only it leads to more waste of money, but it

also

prones

question or examine thoroughly and closely

probes

primes

prone

them to bad health.

For example

, in an interview, the OPTP

(

Accept space

(

fast

food

restaurant) manager, admitted that they have more sales in a shopping centre’s

food

section than in their other branches. In conclusion, in my opinion, the rising trend of spending time in shopping

malls among

Accept comma addition

malls, among

the youth is bringing unwanted effects

such

as spending money unwisely as well as opting junk

meals

the bags of letters and packages that are transported by the postal service

mails

Submitted by laraib-afzal on Mon Jan 13 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

The diagramm below illustrate how recylced paper is made.

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?