In many countries Women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree ?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

I don`t think

this

is primarily reason for

this

problem I think

lot

Suggestion

lots

of reason has been existing that lead to

this

. In the past people had

different attitude

Suggestion

a different attitude

different attitudes

about

get

Suggestion

to get

getting

married they

Accept comma addition

married, they

find

Suggestion

found

a girl for their son persuade him to get married to her, very simple and nothing else, but now unfortunately people increase their expectation wants ideal things for

marriage

in addition

marriage

restriction like

protect

Suggestion

to protect

protecting

baby

Suggestion

the baby

babies

, protect family, etc. People have lot of advantages for being single and not to get married but when they get married they limited by husband and baby and couldn`t achieve their wish

besides

when you being single you can change your life immediately without worried about someone else In summery when we want talk about

marriage

or being single you should consider two different thing with two different advantage

besides

people think

marriage

not wide open

Submitted by rasoulf1020 on Mon Jan 13 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

146 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries Women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree ?

Fully explain your ideas

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