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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success
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There have been immense arguments on the association between success and
equality
Use synonyms
 these days. While I can perceive the egalitarian beliefs, I do believe that people should earn achievements in accordance with their qualifications. On the one hand, the existence of
equality
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 in
society
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 can have positive effects on people as well as
society
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.
For example
Linking Words
, less income individuals earn more money, and it would cause the fairness of
society
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.
Moreover
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, penurious guys would be more satisfied with
this
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 situation. It has been proved that fewer thefts will occur in
this
Linking Words
 condition.
Furthermore
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, the
behavioral
of or relating to behavior
behavioural
 issues would reduce, if people earned money the same as each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, egalitarian
society
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 beliefs could be reasonable because of the mentioned reasons.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, under the practical condition, advances are not achievable in
this
Linking Words
 sort of
society
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. If the people be paid without considering their merits, it would cause discouragements for them.
For instance
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, a doctor or an engineer would expect to have a higher income than an ordinary employee.
Moreover
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, all societies need a sense of competition to progress, and under the condition of
equality
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, there would not be the sense of competitiveness among the general public.
For example
Linking Words
, on the merit-based status, poorer individuals would strive for improvement, and
this
Linking Words
endeavor
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavour
 will flourish the
society
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 promptly. In conclusion, I would admit the impact of
equality
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 on personal achievements, but it seems to me that people should earn what they deserve, and
this
Linking Words
 would be better for the progression of
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amirhamidi6631 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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