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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teachers have an important role to play in the educational success, while others think it is the students' attitude that matters. Discuss both views and share your opinion.

Education
Use synonyms
 is
very
Rephrase
apply
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essential for the students and the country as well.
While
Linking Words
 many people believe that the tutors are the major reason for the best results in their
education
Use synonyms
, many still believe that it actually depends
upon
Change preposition
on
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 that particular
student
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why the attitude of a
student
Use synonyms
 is needed, but why teachers are the main key in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
student
Use synonyms
`s life.
Point
Correct article usage
The point
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 of view of a
student
Use synonyms
 is certainly an essential aspect to achieve high scores in his/her field easily. If the scholar has an
interest
Use synonyms
 in his subject,
then
Linking Words
 with the least
effort
Punctuation problem
effort,
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 he or she can perform so well in
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 a
student
Use synonyms
 whose favourite subject is mathematics, and if you tell him to study biology,
then
Linking Words
 the outcome of that would be worse. Having an
interest
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
 is vital to
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
 the desired score. Despite having an
interest
Use synonyms
, any pupil without a guide, the
interest
Use synonyms
 is futile. Teachers can provide basic knowledge, which is so crucial to initiate any subject.
For example
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,
To
Fix capitalization
to
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 build a building,
it`s
Use the right word
its
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 base must have to be robust enough to handle the weight of the whole building. Anything in
this
Linking Words
 world needs guidance
no
Punctuation problem
, no
show examples
 matter how much talent or capability it has. So having an educator is an important thing. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay discussed why
attitude
Correct article usage
the attitude
show examples
 of a
student
Use synonyms
 matters a lot, but why teachers are the main dominators in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life. In my opinion, having a guru is vitally important for any particular pupil, who will show him the right path and give guidance in any situation in his educational life.

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strength
The essay shows you try to discuss both sides and give your own view, which fits the task.
improvement
Make your stance clear in the opening and repeat it in the ending to show your view is strong.
improvement
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like and, but, so.
improvement
Add more real or simple examples to back your points.
improvement
Fix grammar and word form, and avoid odd phrases.
structure
Your essay has a plan with intro and conclusion.
content
You talk about both sides and give a view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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