IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and whether they are married or single. Sometimes people say that information may be relevant and useful. Other disagree.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies
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Many
times
Suggestion
times, companies
times companies
company
Use synonyms
 asking to
job
Use synonyms
 seeker about their personal
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
Linking Words
 as hobbies, interests and married status. One segment of the society
consider
Suggestion
considers
 their
information
Use synonyms
 as useless, but other group
accept
Suggestion
accepts
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
 as valuable aspects of
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
the job
a job
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we try to look both opinions. According to one point of view, personal
information
Use synonyms
 about
employe
a worker who is hired to perform a job
employees
 is beneficial for
Use synonyms
company
Suggestion
a company
the company
companies
 because of
this
Linking Words
 they come to know about their personality or family history.
For
Linking Words
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
 a married woman who have two small
kid
Suggestion
kids
, a
job
Use synonyms
 which require more travelling and working late will not be suitable for her and she will not be able to perform well.
In addition
Linking Words
 the organisation can get to know what type of person the candidate could be and make use of his or her personal skill or strength for the
company
Use synonyms
.
In
Suggestion
From
 my point of view, I think that asking personal
information
Use synonyms
 when applying for a
job
Use synonyms
 will useful for
employe
a worker who is hired to perform a job
employee
employees
 as well as
Use synonyms
company
Suggestion
the company
companies
. We should understand and take it positively.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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