Some people that it is normal to spend money on music.Agree or Disagree ?

#people #money #music

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this

Linking Words

generaton

all the people living at the same time or of approximately the same age

generation

music

Use synonyms

has

bemcome

enter or assume a certain state or condition

become

quite eminent among adolescents,

however

Linking Words

, It seems like most of them put all their eggs in one basket by spending money on one thing:

music

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

, there are plenty of applications could be downloaded to listen to any types of song. It is not necessary to purchase an album of a certain idol, if it can be installed free on the mobile.

Second

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, one can sing karaoke with friends

instead

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of going to a concert and waking up the

Linking Words

day having a headache.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is quite noisy in the concert

as a result

Linking Words

of many fans.Alas, it is more expensive than the karaoke.

Third

Linking Words

, most of these

celebrity

Suggestion

celebrities

do not care about their fans. They have a private life, identity, and personality.

Subsequently

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is a profession to them and they earn money from it while their fans keep on bankrupting by spending on it. Later on, they will not be able to pay for their university wages, leading them to have a part-time job. Fourth, as there are a lot of consequences,

misleadng

designed to deceive or mislead either deliberately or inadvertently

misleading

career choice.

For example

Linking Words

, a fan who idolizes a certain

artist maybe

Accept comma addition

artist, maybe

artist may be

striving to meet him or her.Occasionally, that fan would waste money on

music

Use synonyms

classes because they desire to be like their artists.

Instead

Linking Words

of doing that, focusing on

acheiving

to gain with effort

achieving

profession is mandatory for self-

fulfillment

a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires

fulfilment

Finally

Linking Words

, I would say that

music

Use synonyms

is the key to our

emotions including

Accept comma addition

emotions, including

: sadness, happiness, stress, relief, and anger.In spite of that it should not be used as a material to buy.

Submitted by rokiasherif94 on Thu Jan 16 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

256 words

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Some people that it is normal to spend money on music.Agree or Disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?