Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some would believe that the most effective way to increase the quality of public
health
Use synonyms
is to increase the numbers of sports facilities, while others think that it would not give effective result, so other ideas should be implemented. While extra sporting facilities cover increased
number
Use synonyms
of people, I believe that unless the awareness program about the importance of staying healthy is not implemented, individuals would not be interested to work on
this
Linking Words
matter. On the one hand, increased numbers of people would be facilitated with the extra
number
Use synonyms
of sporting outlets.
This
Linking Words
is to say that more sporting centres can accommodate more
number
Use synonyms
of people, which enables i
ncreased volume
Suggestion
the increased volume
of people to exercise, and it e
ventually improve
Suggestion
eventually improves
the
health
Use synonyms
of p
ublic.
Suggestion
the public
For example
Linking Words
, research suggested that 40% of the obesity problem h
as reduced
Suggestion
had reduced
have reduced
in Kathmandu after the government of Nepal implemented the scheme of 1 sports centre per 1000 people.
However
Linking Words
, I think people are still reluctant to join those exercise facilities because they do not understand the consequences of not having proper
health
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government should raise awareness about the necessity of the sound
health
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
means the authority should debrief people about the negative aspects of unhealthy lifestyle, and how to avoid being a victim of it.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study conducted by the BBC revealed that after the Indian government’s
health
Use synonyms
awareness campaign in 2016, the level of public
health
Use synonyms
was inclined by 65% and more in the following years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I opine that p
ublic
Suggestion
the public
should be aware of the importance of healthy body in order to help them become healthy. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the increase in sporting facilities addresses m
ore
Suggestion
number
number
Use synonyms
of individuals, I think people would only start to think about their
health
Use synonyms
when they comprehend t
ha
definite article
the
importance of sound
health
Use synonyms
, which could be explained to them via a
rareness
Suggestion
a rareness
program.
Submitted by christianoronaldo111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: