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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status
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The provided chart shows the number of
leisure
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 enjoyed by
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in a typical
week
Use synonyms
 in 1998-99,
according to
Linking Words
 gender and
employment
Use synonyms
 status. As is observed from the graph, the unemployed and retired
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 had more
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 than the other type of
people
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. Among the full-
time
Use synonyms
 employed
people
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,
men
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 had about 45
hours
Use synonyms
 of
leisure
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time
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 on
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average per
week
Use synonyms
 compared to the 38
hours
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 of
leisure
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time
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 for
women
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. No data is given for the part-
time
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 employed
men
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 and
women
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 from
this
Linking Words
 category
enjoyed
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoyed
show examples
 40
hours
Use synonyms
 of
leisure
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time
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 in a
week
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.
This
Linking Words
 figure is slightly more than the employed
women
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 perhaps because of their
employment
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 nature. Unemployed and retired
people
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 had the longest period of
leisure
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 activity both for
men
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 and
women
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 and
men
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 had a bit more
hours
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 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
. As expected the retired and unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 enjoyed about 78 to 82
hours
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 per
week
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 which is longer than
people
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 from other
employment
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 statuses.
Lastly
Linking Words
, housewives enjoyed approximately 50
hours
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 of
leisure
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time
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 which is more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employed
women
Use synonyms
 but less than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployed and retired
women
Use synonyms
. The graph reflects that
men
Use synonyms
 had more
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 from all
employment
Use synonyms
 statuses than
women
Use synonyms
 which indicates that
women
Use synonyms
 spent more
time
Use synonyms
 working at home than their male counterparts. The graph summarises that the male enjoyed more
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 than
women
Use synonyms
 and employed
people
Use synonyms
 had less
time
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 for
leisure
Use synonyms
 activities than retired and unemployed
people
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure, hours, men, women, week, employment, time, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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