IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Since most information about culture and history can be found on the internet, museums are not needed anymore. To what extent do you agree ?

#information #culture #history #internet #museums
It is true that nowadays, anyone can browse the internet about
history
 and different cultures, but it does not justify the thought that museums have to shut down. I strongly disagree about the idea, because I believe the museums are very helpful since.
First
, museums sometimes hold not only the culture and artefacts of the situated country, but
also
 the relics that links to other cultures as well,
however
 all the detailed information about our cultural facts are now available in the internet, the feeling of being there looking at the physical artefacts is
much better experience
Suggestion
a much better experience
. The amount of information a single museum has is priceless.
Secondly
, the experience and feeling when you get while visiting a museum is incomparable to modern day web browsing. While
young
Suggestion
younger
 generation
often tend
Suggestion
often tends
 to learn
history
 from books or from
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, there are
reasonable amount
Suggestion
a reasonable amount
 of interest among people
such
 as university professors, school teachers and students below 14 years still choose museums over the other methods. Schools still encourage to organize study visits to these places as well to give their pupils the chance to visually inspect their
history
. As a
student I
Accept comma addition
student, I
 personally like to visit these places which I feel proud while seeing what our
history
 looks like so many years ago. In conclusion, I believe museums should be well supported by governments and the same time the artefacts, relics and other historical things, so that it will be available to the future generation and they will have the same benefits.
Submitted by chamoo.lakshitha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: