Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

Recently, there has been a passionate argument about whether entertainers are paid too much money. Some people think that they do get paid too much money, whereas others disagree with

this

notion. I strongly believe that entertainers are paid too much money and other workers should get paid high salaries

such

as teachers and doctors.

First

of all, doctors are essential to a person’s

health whereas

Accept comma addition

health, whereas

entertainers are not.

For example

, anyone can

life

Suggestion

live

a healthy

life

if they do not watch a famous

sports

Suggestion

sport

professional whereas if they live a

life

without a doctor, they will not live a healthy

life

Secondly

, teachers are the pillar to a person’s

education whereas

Accept comma addition

education, whereas

entertainers are not important to a person’s

education

. In layman’s terms, a person cannot get a good

education

without a teacher whereas if he does not listen to a famous musician it will not affect his

education

. Others who disagree with

this

notion might say that entertainers work very hard every day to get a high

salary

For example

, there is a report that was made in the year 2010 that Cristiano

Ronaldo who

Accept comma addition

Ronaldo, who

is a famous football player trained 10 hours a day for a whole year to get to high paying

salary

whereas teachers will only study for four years in college to get his degree and get his job. In conclusion, I believe that entertainers are getting a

salary

that is

way beyond what they deserve whereas doctors and teachers are not getting the

salary

they deserve.

Submitted by mohammed.alzahid730 on Fri Jan 17 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

you're people should be treated like adults if they commit a crime. in what extent do I agree or disagree

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

In many countries formal exams are used to assess students’ ability and to judge the success of their education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using formal exams to assess students’ abilities? Do you think the benefits of using formal exams overweigh the drawbacks?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies

Some people think that young people electronic and computer games is helpful while the others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.