Some people think that having a set retirement (e.g.65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age.

#people #retirement #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #age

These days, the topic of early

retirement

is much discussed. Some people believe that setting a fixed

retirement

age for all employees is unfair. In their opinion, people working in certain sectors should be allowed to retire early. I agree with that view.

To begin

with, not all jobs are the same in terms of mental or physical demands. Certain jobs are more mentally or physically strenuous and people performing those jobs should receive early

retirement

. It will benefit the society as well as them. A recent study showed that people who work in physically and mentally demanding occupations might suffer from dementia if they continue working in the same occupation after turning fifty. If these people are not allowed to retire early they will become a burden on their company because of their low productivity. There are

also

certain jobs that are better suited for youngsters than seniors.

For example

, driving a truck or waiting on tables requires greater levels of physical fitness.

Such

jobs are suited for young people.

Likewise

, aeroplane pilots

also

deserve early

retirement

because as they age their vision deteriorates and that could be a flight hazard. There are

also

certain jobs that no one wants to do.

For example

, few people are interested in cleaning sewage or collecting garbage. The government can encourage more people to take up

such

jobs by offering them early

retirement

Lastly

, firefighters

also deserve

Suggestion

also deserves

early

retirement

because of their sacrifices and readiness to protect lives and

also

because their work is very demanding physically and mentally. To conclude, I strongly agree that some workers should be entitled to an early

retirement

. While fixing the age of

retirement

for each occupation, the government should consider the demands of the job.

Submitted by hamdislam on Sun Jan 19 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that having a set retirement (e.g.65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays many students are participating in international exchange trips. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that school education should be focused on academic subjects, which are good for childiren's future, and subjects like music and sports are useless. In my opinion, subjects such as music and sports are useful and effictive for spirtual and physical development for children.

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?