Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Nowadays, the

internet

has become a part of human life. People use the

internet

to support their activities, well as school, work, sport, or even shopping. It is thought by some people that using the

internet

in the daily basis can simplify an activity. Over the disadvantages, the

internet

has more advantages that make people do anything through the

internet

without

hesitate

Suggestion

hesitating

. One of the examples is shopping or buying things on the

internet

such

as books, air tickets, and groceries. It is becoming popular and is becoming a new habit among teenagers or even adults to get the items they want online.

Moreover

, many online stores are available that serve online purchases so everyone can get the items only

Suggestion

with

one click.

addition people

Accept comma addition

addition, people

can find the stores easily; they can find it on websites or download store applications on Smartphone. The benefits of doing online shopping are saving time and money. It saves time because everyone is able to choose and buy anywhere and anytime only via mobile phone.

This

would be the best choice for some people who are very busy with their work or school and have no time to go to the store. In the other hand, it

also

saves money. It

does not required

Suggestion

does not require

fare. There is no cost for

taxi

Suggestion

a taxi

taxis

or public transportation to get the store and

then

go back to home.

Furthermore

, everyone does not need to take money out for snack that sometimes people are always doing when they are shopping. In conclusion, while there are plus points to

doing

Suggestion

online shopping, everybody must still do it wisely and carefully.

Sun Jan 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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