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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the quantities of
fish
Use synonyms
 and different kinds of meats consumed in a European country between the time period of 1979 and 2004. Over
this
Linking Words
 span of 25 years, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
beef
Use synonyms
, lamb and
fish
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 all decreased
while
Linking Words
 the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of chicken has dramatically risen. The biggest
consumption
Use synonyms
 in 1979 was
beef
Use synonyms
 (about 220
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 was consumed every
week
Use synonyms
)
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
consumption
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 in 1979 was
fish
Use synonyms
 (around 60
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
show examples
 per
week
Use synonyms
 was consumed by a
person
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). The amount of
fish
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 which was eaten has remained almost constant at about 50
grams
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from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1979 and 2004. The trends of
beef
Use synonyms
 and lamb
consumption
Use synonyms
 were similar, with decreases in
amount
Add an article
an amount
the amount
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the years.
While
Linking Words
beef
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 had declined from over 200
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 to around 100
grams
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 25 years, lamb’s was starting
150
Change preposition
from 150
show examples
grams
Use synonyms
 to approximately 50
grams
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the same period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, chicken
consumption
Use synonyms
 had grown up gradually to
year
Add an article
a year
the year
show examples
 of 194, reaching a peak at
250grams
Correct your spelling
250 grams
 per
person
Use synonyms
 every
week
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1994 and 2004.
Submitted by weccsi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, consumption, beef, grams, person, week with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • metric tons
  • fluctuations
  • upward/downward trend
  • stabilize
  • peak
  • trough
  • overtake
  • steady decline/increase
  • sustainable
  • dietary habits
  • preferences
  • health consciousness
  • per capita
  • poultry
  • veal
  • stagnant
  • gradual
  • surpass
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