IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

3. Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree?

#universities #amount #money #students’ #sports #activities #libraries
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In co
ntemporary era,
Suggestion
the contemporary era
education
Use synonyms
 in universities not only pay an attention to academic
ed
Use synonyms
ucation but
Accept comma addition
education, but
also
Linking Words
 guide students to stay healthy via advocating sports activities among them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people support that the same amount of financial budget as that allocated to libraries should be reserved for
sport
Use synonyms
 activities. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because that libraries play a more important role in students'
education
Use synonyms
 in universities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the purpose of be enrolling in universities is to obtain knowledge for students. Libraries is
p
Suggestion
are
laces for students to study and
also
Linking Words
 keep universities with excellent resources in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to provide enough funding for libraries to function properly so that students will be provided most up-to-date researches or information in re
levant study field.
Suggestion
the relevant study field
a relevant study field
relevant study fields
For example
Linking Words
, libraries in medical schools provide not only quiet studying environment for medical st
udents but
Accept comma addition
students, but
also
Linking Words
 up-to-date research or medical data for students to keep them well-informed. Without the support of libraries, medical staffs and students will be unable to keep up with the constantly updating medical industry.
In addition
Linking Words
, facilities relevant to
sport
Use synonyms
 activities in universities will help students to keep fit;
however
Linking Words
, as co
mparing w
Suggestion
compared
ith the function of libraries in nurturing students' capacities, the function of
sport
Use synonyms
 activities ar
e l
Suggestion
is
ess important in the majority of universities worldwide, except in the universities which are specialized in nurturing athletes. In universities, students re
mains enjoying
Accept comma addition
remains, enjoying
sport
Use synonyms
 ac
tivities even w
Accept comma addition
activities, even
ith base equipments. The quality of
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 won't be affected or diminished with less fancy
sport
Use synonyms
 equipments.
However
Linking Words
, if libraries lack financial budgets, to update data for staff and students' study or researches will be affected.
As a result
Linking Words
, the quality of
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 will be diminished and the reputation of the
university
Use synonyms
 might be tarnished as well.   All in all, proper financial budget to
l
Suggestion
for
ibraries plays a cu
rial r
a variable color averaging a deep pink
coral
choral
carol
ole in maintaining the quality and quantity of
education
Use synonyms
 in universities and the amount of funding to libraries should be secured annually. The fu
nding t
Suggestion
funds
o
Suggestion
for
sport
Use synonyms
 activities is im
portant but n
Accept comma addition
important, but
ot as much cu
rial a
made of grain or relating to grain or the plants that produce it
cereal
curl
s that for libraries due to that
sport
Use synonyms
 activities are not the major purpose for
university
Use synonyms
 students.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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