IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city centre with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #centre #apartment #buildings #commuters
These days, traffic jams have become common headaches in our community. Some people claim that transforming parks and gardens into residential areas is the best way to solve commute problems.
However
, there are some opposite opinions on
this
 issue. It is
worthy
Suggestion
worth
 to go through these different ideas. It’s not a difficult thing to understand why some people advocate moving these entertainment buildings from
city centers
Suggestion
the city centre
city centre
. These places have occupied a large part of our busiest areas which have amassed a number of companies. That means if we construct new apartments for citizens making use of these lands, they don’t need to spend
such
 a long time on the way to work. Professionals may just walk a few minutes to go to their workplaces.
Therefore
, driving cars is not a necessary routine in our daily life any more.
Additionally
, downtown areas are not perfect locations for natural sceneries, because they are so buzzing and people could not enjoy themselves in chaos.
However
, other people who hold different views
can not
can not
cannot
 be convinced by above perspectives. The
first
 thing they are considering is
prices
Suggestion
priced
 of the land in these busy spots. It seems like that most of commuters
can not
can not
cannot
 afford to buy a suite of apartment in those pricey places.
Thus
, that will not change current situation a lot. Ordinary residents still live far away from business
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 and waste their time to struggle with traffics.
Otherwise
, we will cause heavier traffic jams when we conduct constructions to replace these recreational fields. In conclusion, relocating parks and gardens may offer a good solution for long
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 time. Meanwhile, there are some doubts about whether it works. Each side both have valid concerns about
present situation
Suggestion
the present situation
, maybe we can try
this
 method in some places,
then
 look forward to seeing the results.
Submitted by gyinghunan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: