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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

is it good for children to start using computers from early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

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In
this
Linking Words
 technological era, to be
familier
well known or easily recognized
familiar
 with latest
technology
Use synonyms
 and its tool is almost mandatory to new generation.
Use synonyms
technology
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
Technology
 changes very frequently and if an individual does not know about
it
Suggestion
it later, then
then
Linking Words
 later, it
become
Suggestion
becomes
 difficult for them to understand it or use latest one.
now-a-days
Suggestion
Now-a-days
 our day to day lifestyle activities like-study, shopping, travel and job everything
is
Suggestion
are
 dependent upon hardware and software. In my
opinion it
Accept comma addition
opinion, it
 has several merits which can help children to learn and grow in an
enviornment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 where they are aware about the usage of Science and its application. If adolescents are not aware about
technology
Use synonyms
 since their
childhood
Accept comma addition
childhood, then
then
Linking Words
 at the
maturity
Suggestion
mature
age
Use synonyms
 or old
age
Use synonyms
 period they will betray from its usage.
For
Linking Words
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
 1990, after
libralization
the act of making less strict
liberalization
liberalisation
 policy in India, the banking sector decided to bring computerisation in its operations to remove any humankind error.
Morethen
Suggestion
More than
More then
 70% of employees are afraid due to
this
Linking Words
 modernization.
they
Suggestion
They
 thought that they will loss their jobs because they were not friendly with computers.
most
Suggestion
Most
 of them have been taken voluntary retirement at the early
age
Use synonyms
 because they do not want to learn computer at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the thought process of teenager is very
vast
Suggestion
vastly
 and fast.
if
Suggestion
If
 they learn about new machines and their applications they may develop other tools and technique.
there
Suggestion
There
 are many examples are available when children
below
Suggestion
under
 18 years has developed plenty of
application
Suggestion
applications
 to reduce human efforts and save other resources. On the flip
side it
Accept comma addition
side, it
can not
can not
cannot
 be ignored that spending hours on
computer
Suggestion
the computer
a computer
computers
 and mobiles leads to develop medical issues in teenagers
such
Linking Words
 as eating disorder, insomnia, anxiety and eye-vision problem.Bad habits
also
Linking Words
 take
placeat
Suggestion
place at
this
Linking Words
ealry
at or near the beginning of a period of time or course of events or before the usual or expected time
early
age
Use synonyms
 that
includer
have as a part, be made up out of
include
includes
included
 eating fast food, less time for study, less time for family and relatives and these all habits make them non-socialise person. To conclude with the statement that every
technology
Use synonyms
 is being
develop
Suggestion
developed
 to reduce the human's physical labour and uplift the living standard of
society but
Accept comma addition
society, but
 if
teenager
Suggestion
the teenager
a teenager
become
Suggestion
becomes
 addicted to
technology
Use synonyms
 like virtual games-Pub G, GTA city and social media-
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
, twitter and
instagram
Suggestion
 and spend unnecessary time
then
Linking Words
 these
application
Suggestion
applications
 may
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to non-invited problems to them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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