Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?

this

Linking Words

contemporary Era, people get accomplishments easily by their strive or by the knowledge. In that

victory

Use synonyms

Regions

also

Linking Words

contributes but some people think that

Use synonyms

region

Suggestion

the region

doesn't matter for getting accomplished. It has both positive and negative views

refers to the speaker or writer

will explain my point of view in the following paragraphs. Most of the accomplished persons in the world are from regional part of the world. They got

victory

Use synonyms

only by his hard work and the enormous knowledge

Suggestion

their field.

For instance

Linking Words

, APJ Abdulkalam is an erstwhile prime minister and chief scientist if ISRO - from one of the remote villages in

india

a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947

India

Linking Words

Moreover he

Accept comma addition

Moreover, he

Moreover him

Moreover him him

becoming

Suggestion

become

famous only for his knowledge not by the

region

Use synonyms

. After his

victory

Use synonyms

only his

region

Use synonyms

became more famous. So, success

is depends

Suggestion

depends

on the work which towards your goal.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, sometime regions will play certain in the

victory

Use synonyms

of a person.

For instance

Linking Words

Accept space

Steve Jobs was a founder of

APPLE company

Suggestion

the APPLE company

an APPLE company

from

Suggestion

the village in the U.S. But

that male; objective male pronoun

him

becoming

Suggestion

become

famous by his

region

Use synonyms

's people buying his smart phone to encourage his business. And

finally

Linking Words

he became succeed in the business. So, the

region

Use synonyms

Linking Words

also give

Suggestion

also gives

some impact on the

victory

Use synonyms

of a person. According to my Glimpses, the

region

Use synonyms

is not a reason to get accomplishment only hard work

sumayaothman96Mon Jan 20 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

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Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved