IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Parents are unhappy with the increasing amount of violence in computer games such as TV programmes and leisure activities. How much harmful it can be on children and what can be done to solve this problem. Give relevant examples from your own experience.

#parents #amount #violence #computer #games #tv #programmes #leisure #activities #children
In recent years, young people enjoy computer games and movies as part of their daily routine. While there are numerous advantages of
such
 activities, various negative effects stem from
this
 too.
However
, there are some possible solutions to overcome
such
 drawbacks which we will discuss here. Probably the main factor is the issue of mental addiction resulting from excessive exposure to brutal games and videos.
In addition
, youngsters behave more aggressively in society, leading to traffic accidents, street fights and even violent deaths. To illustrate, the movie Fast and Furious, provoked young drivers, which caused severe casualties worldwide, as the movie was about drugs, gangs and racings.
Similarly
, if gamings and media industries focus more on saving moral values and educating people
such
 as improving mathematical skills through interactive games and programs, youngsters will be more responsible and would flourish both, academically and socially. Turning to possible solutions, the best remedy is to encourage parents to act as role models by spending as much time as possible with their loved ones.
This
 will allow youngsters to absorb conventions and codes of conduct, which they can follow themselves, hopefully leading to an absence of problems
such
 as bullying, truancy and delinquency later on.
Finally
, the government community must establish regulators to monitor media activities, so that the content remains controlled, rather than exploiting people. In conclusion, the risks posed by substandard games and movies are connected to a dangerous lifestyle. Possible answer might involve restrictions on displaying cruelty in movies and games and the benefits of more parental supervision.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: