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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two diagrams show how
electricity
Use synonyms
 can be generated by the rise and fall of
water
Use synonyms
 caused by sea waves. The process involves a structure which is mounted on the side of a cliff or sea wall.
This
Linking Words
 structure consists of a large chamber. One end is open to the sea, and the other leads into a vertical
column
Use synonyms
, which is open to the atmosphere. A
turbine
Use synonyms
 is installed inside
this
Linking Words
column
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 is used to generate the
electricity
Use synonyms
 in two phases. The first diagram indicates that when a wave approaches the device,
water
Use synonyms
 is forced into the chamber, applying pressure on the
air
Use synonyms
 within the
column
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
air
Use synonyms
 escapes to
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
 through the
turbine
Use synonyms
, thereby producing
electricity
Use synonyms
. The
second
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates the
next
Linking Words
 part of the process when a wave retreats. As the
water
Use synonyms
 level falls, the
air
Use synonyms
 from outside the
column
Use synonyms
 is sucked back through the
turbine
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
 continues to be generated. The
turbine
Use synonyms
 rotates only in one direction, regardless of the direction of the
Use synonyms
air flow
Correct your spelling
airflow
show examples
. In conclusion, we can see that
this
Linking Words
 structure is useful as
electricity
Use synonyms
 is generated in both phases: entering and retreating of
water
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, water, column, turbine, air with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "waves" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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