With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #health #care #society #people #numbers

With the improvements in today’s health

care

, society has to

care

for more and more elderly people.

This

is especially common in developed countries with an established

healthcare

system

such

Australia where

Accept comma addition

Australia, where

the

government

aims to subsidise medications

to make

Suggestion

making

it affordable and accessible to their residents. In my personal opinion, I believe the society,

for example

, Australia, will be able to cope with

aging

Suggestion

an aging population

aging populations

the aging population

population

as long as it’s properly managed by stakeholders

such

as the

government

and taxpayers. In Australia, the

government

combats aging

population

by increasing the burden on taxpayers, particularly those earning more than $180,000 annually.

This

will allow more funds to be allocated into

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

, which will mean more hospital beds,

healthcare

staff and medical equipment in public hospitals. The money can

also

be used for education and research purposes to train young health professionals. All of these initiatives can

then

be used to

care

for hospitalised elderly people, as well as those living in aged

care

facilities and retirement homes.

However

, one can argue that

aging

Suggestion

the aging population

an aging population

population

is extremely difficult to

manage particularly

Accept comma addition

manage, particularly

in overpopulated and poor countries

such

as India. With the demand for

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

exceeding the supply of medical resources available, there is nearly no room for each elderly to access the most basic

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

Hence

, the Indian

government

had made attempts to solve their aging

population

by receiving foreign international aid in the form of money, qualified

healthcare

professionals or modern medical instruments. All in all, I believe that society can cope with

aging

Suggestion

an aging population

aging populations

the aging population

population

as long as all stakeholders are actively involved in managing

this

problem.

Submitted by rwng6 on Wed Jan 22 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? why do you think some people might no be happy to give up using cash?