With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #health #care #society #people #numbers

With the improvements in today’s health

care

, society has to

care

for more and more elderly people.

This

is especially common in developed countries with an established

healthcare

system

such

Australia where

Accept comma addition

Australia, where

the

government

aims to subsidise medications

to make

Suggestion

making

it affordable and accessible to their residents. In my personal opinion, I believe the society,

for example

, Australia, will be able to cope with

aging

Suggestion

an aging population

aging populations

the aging population

population

as long as it’s properly managed by stakeholders

such

as the

government

and taxpayers. In Australia, the

government

combats aging

population

by increasing the burden on taxpayers, particularly those earning more than $180,000 annually.

This

will allow more funds to be allocated into

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

, which will mean more hospital beds,

healthcare

staff and medical equipment in public hospitals. The money can

also

be used for education and research purposes to train young health professionals. All of these initiatives can

then

be used to

care

for hospitalised elderly people, as well as those living in aged

care

facilities and retirement homes.

However

, one can argue that

aging

Suggestion

the aging population

an aging population

population

is extremely difficult to

manage particularly

Accept comma addition

manage, particularly

in overpopulated and poor countries

such

as India. With the demand for

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

exceeding the supply of medical resources available, there is nearly no room for each elderly to access the most basic

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

Hence

, the Indian

government

had made attempts to solve their aging

population

by receiving foreign international aid in the form of money, qualified

healthcare

professionals or modern medical instruments. All in all, I believe that society can cope with

aging

Suggestion

an aging population

aging populations

the aging population

population

as long as all stakeholders are actively involved in managing

this

problem.

Submitted by rwng6 on Wed Jan 22 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken.What is your opinion about this?

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Scientists argue that many people eat too much junk food, and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.