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Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. what are the advantages of this trend? do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #convenience #foods #people #lifestyle #trend
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It is commonly believed that in
modern development era
Suggestion
a modern development era
the modern development era
 the foods have become convenient to individuals. It
has helped
Suggestion
is helping
 to them remaining in these days. There many benefits growing accessibility of
foods including
Accept comma addition
foods, including
 better
time
Use synonyms
 saving to prepare
meal
Suggestion
meals
a meal
the meal
 and these foods are inexpensive, but there will be
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the advantages of convenience of foods
is
Suggestion
are
 that
time
Use synonyms
 saving. In modern
Use synonyms
time
Suggestion
times
 due to
food
Use synonyms
 packages have been
selling
Suggestion
sold
 in the market. So that, people only have to
hot
dislike intensely; feel antipathy or aversion towards
hate
 them in
oven
Suggestion
the oven
an oven
 whenever they are hungry.
For instance
Linking Words
, Maggi and pasta have already
cokked
having been prepared for eating by the application of heat
cooked
checked
clocked
 50% in packages. In result, these would be prepared in 2 minutes at home even at the office.
Similarly
Linking Words
, people can keep
connect
Suggestion
connected
 either with their laptops or with
machine
Suggestion
a machine
.
Meanwhile cooking
Accept comma addition
Meanwhile, cooking
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 benefits of rising convenience
food
Use synonyms
is
Suggestion
are
 inexpensive foods. Companies have manufactured cheap product of
food
Use synonyms
 because
underpriviledge
lacking the rights and advantages of other members of society
underprivileged
famalies
a social unit living together
families
 can easily afford
these
Suggestion
these foods
food
Use synonyms
. There are many disadvantages of easier
food
Use synonyms
 preparing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, health problems
have been growing
Suggestion
has been growing
 due to unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 and spoiled
food
Use synonyms
 if they were
excessived
beyond normal limits
excessive
 in ice
storage
Suggestion
store
. In
ther
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
their
her
 words,
fats
Suggestion
fat
 prepared foods are
also
Linking Words
 known as "
junkfood
Suggestion
junk food
". It has promoted obesity
desease
an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning
disease
diseases
dashes
 which is
consedeably
to a great extent or degree
considerably
considerable
 detrimental for adults.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
food
Use synonyms
 departments the economy was higher
earlier which
Accept comma addition
earlier, which
 has now declined
continously
at every point
continuously
 in result,
food
Use synonyms
 attraction has
also
Linking Words
 become less popular. In conclusion, the advantages of convenience of
foods including
Accept comma addition
foods, including
 people can save their
time
Use synonyms
 as well as inexpensive, but
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 of
nation
Suggestion
the nation
a nation
 is decreased and health problems
has been increasing
Suggestion
have been increasing
 because of these
Use synonyms
food
Suggestion
foods
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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