IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money making attractions aimed at tourist or is it the only way to save these tradition. Discuss and give you opinion.

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Now-a-days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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 the trend of visiting different places and
to know
Change the verb form
knowing
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 about myriad cultures and traditions has increased immensely.In fact,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 of
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 collects funds, and
spending
Wrong verb form
spends
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 a lot of money to preserve it.There are two schools of thought regarding
charge
Replace the word
charging
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 money from visitors at historical places.There are some folks who believe that
charge
Replace the word
charging
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 money from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative effects on culture.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 other masses think that there are other methods too which can be helped in maintaining cultural norms.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I strongly assert with the former view.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to provide a clearer context for the discussion. You may also want to summarize the main points you'll address in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to include more topic sentences that clearly indicate what each paragraph will discuss, as this will help improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples or evidence that illustrate your arguments regarding the impact of monetary charges on cultural traditions.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion at the beginning, which sets the tone for your discussion.
task achievement
You have identified a relevant topic that is significant for many societies today, indicating an understanding of contemporary issues.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commodification
  • cultural exchange
  • authenticity
  • dilution
  • financial support
  • community involvement
  • preservation
  • intrinsic value
  • misrepresentation
  • cultural heritage
  • tourism impact
  • economic benefits
  • cultural representation
  • local customs
  • heritage preservation
What to do next:
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