Some people believe that woman should play an equal role as men in a country ‘s police force or military force, such as the army ,while other think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Women participation in d
efence sector
Suggestion
the defence sector
of a country is so valuable because in other all fields females are working like men with full z
eel
a feeling of strong eagerness (usually in favor of a person or cause)
zeal
sail
and confidence
as a result
Linking Words
, worth of f
emale
Suggestion
females
the female
has increased in society. s
ome
Suggestion
Some
people have n
otion
Suggestion
the notion
a notion
that security forces
job
Use synonyms
for l
adies
Suggestion
the ladies
is not suitable while some have idea that it is best for them to join a
rmy
Suggestion
the army
or military force. In my vision women should join d
efence sector
Suggestion
the defence sector job
job
Use synonyms
. F
emale
Suggestion
The female
had been under observation as an inferior gender as compared to men.
This
Linking Words
thinking was present in our forefather’s t
ime
Accept comma addition
time, however
however
Linking Words
,n
Accept space
,
o doubt
,i
Accept space
,
t is still present in paucity due to lack of education. Now in present times with the advancement in education with technology and changing of mind set regarding female rights with awareness
,t
Accept space
,
here are participating in every profession. D
efence sector
Suggestion
The defence sector job
job
Use synonyms
is m
ost inspiring
Suggestion
a most inspiring job
the most inspiring job
job
Use synonyms
for a
female because ,
Suggestion
a female, because
first
Linking Words
of all it is the most respectful profession in the world which means rights of women are the supreme priority in
this
Linking Words
field along with other facilities like salary
,a
Accept space
,
ccommodation and protocol.
Furthermore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
profession r
equire
Suggestion
requires
emotions f
or
Suggestion
in
the service of notion and
hence
Linking Words
ladies are already so emotional so they are better able to get s
acrifice
Suggestion
sacrificed
for their country. As in many countries female are serving as captain and major in different arms. Another positive point for joining m
ilitary
Suggestion
the military
is that the level of patience which is on extreme level in females than m
ale
Suggestion
male, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
quality is most liked in police because they have to talk with people with patience. A lot of ladies t
hrough out
all the way through
throughout
the world are doing t
here
of them or themselves
their
jobs as traffic sergeant. No doubt
,t
Accept space
,
hat female d
on’t have
Suggestion
doesn’t have
physical stamina as much as men have but will definitely boost t
here
of them or themselves
their
stamina is ladies are selected in a
rmy
Suggestion
the army
an army
and every lady solider will act as a torch of e
nlightment
education that results in understanding and the spread of knowledge
enlightenment
enlistment
of other ladies. I
n
Suggestion
In
a nutshell police or army are the most reliable departments for l
adies
Suggestion
the ladies
because they gain honour
,d
Accept space
,
ignity
,s
Accept space
,
ecurity and show patience being the part of these departments no doubt
,
Accept space
,
they are a little bit f
or
to a considerable degree; very much
far
from physical fitness level as compared with men.
Submitted by ch.ali16815 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: