Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities in their free time?

#pastime #people #activities #time

Shopping has become an integral part of our life. Young people are more attracted to shopping

compare

Suggestion

comparison

to older generation and

this

is due to the fact it has become a habit for them. Some people argue that people spend more

time

in other beneficial activities in their free

time

. I completely agree with

this

point, because

time

is the most precious thing we have in

this

world. To start with, People spend more

time

in shopping because they

Suggestion

shopping because they

have more purchasing power. There are many job opportunities available in the market compared to the past and almost all of them paid well. So peoples disposable income has been increased and they spend

this

in shopping. Another essential point is people spend due to influence by their peers who do shopping at almost every week, with no reasons. A recent survey from

abc

Suggestion

ABC

at the shopping mall in Kurukshetra city, indicate that most of their sales come from younger people, whom just start their career. In my view,

Time

is the most important thing and cannot be reverted. So we should encourage people to do some useful activities like sports or gym rather than wasting their

time

in shopping.

Moreover

, people from technical background can spend their

time

to enhance their skills.

For example

, Technical people can learn Artificial Intelligence, which would help them to grow in their career. To conclude,

this

is true that younger people attract to

shopping very

Accept comma addition

shopping, very

easily, but they should think and encourage about other activities which keep them healthy and up to date, which would help in their career.

Submitted by xorig76408 on Wed Jan 22 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities in their free time?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problem, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.