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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Historical and forecasted trends in the
birth
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 and
death
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 rates in New Zealand
since
Change preposition
from
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 1901
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2201 are illustrated in the line graph below.
Overall
Linking Words
, looking at the graph, it is noted that the opposing trends in the
birth
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 and
death
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 rates will be reversed in around 2041; in which the
death
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rate
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 is expected to overtake the
birth
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rate
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 after that year. The
birth
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rate
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 has shown an upturn trend from the start of the period
udder
Correct your spelling
under
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 analysis till the present day; standing at 20,000
births
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 in 1901 and increasing to
peak
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a peak
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 at 66,0000
births
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 in 1961. Since
then
Linking Words
 fluctuations in the
birth
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rate
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 between 65,000
births
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 and 50,000
births
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 have been noted. The
birth
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rate
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 is expected to decline slowly to reach 45,000
births
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 by the end of the century. On the other side of the spectrum, at the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
,period
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 the
death
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rate
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 stood below 20,000 and witnessed a steady increase till the present day. A more rapid increase in the
death
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rate
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 is expected to happen between 2021 and 2051. After that year, the
rate
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 will be probably stabilized at around 60,000 before dropping slightly in 2101.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, rate, births with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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