IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that researching the past is a waste of time and money. We should instead focus on the issues if today's world. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
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 50 years, the majority of people
claim
Wrong verb form
have claimed
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 that investing money
for
Change preposition
in
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 protecting history or everything which is related to ancient events is useless because there are many crucial crises in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
and
Correct word choice
apply
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that should be solved
instead
Linking Words
.
However
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, I firmly disagree there are two reasons as follows. First of all, it is
clear
Add an article
a clear
the clear
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 fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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spending funds
in
Change preposition
on
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 the historical part is not
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of money because the history of every nation is the symbol of that area with preserving cultural heritages and past events which show us how much we get value to our patriotic feelings .
For example
Linking Words
, every year, the government considers
huge
Add an article
the huge
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of money for storing infrastructure of museums to not destructed over time
this
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 function
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to youngsters
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 enough data from their ancestors and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 history won't
be disappearing
Wrong verb form
disappear
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.
Further
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 and even more importantly though, the experiences of the old generation are accurately vital. Older individuals pave the
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
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 for coming generations by the way of doing trial and
errors
Fix the agreement mistake
error
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as a result
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, it will be highly simple for youth to discover
the success
Replace the word
successful
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 ways.The case in point, unlike human life expectancy in the past, nowadays, we, witness one who has 100 or more years so
that
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 is clear
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how much scientific research is progressing so all of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 breakthrough events
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the root of the importance of ancient. In conclusion, it is not acceptable that investment in the past is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 it is an insurmountable fact that
this
Linking Words
 old section is sensitive and vital for new generation lives
as well as
Linking Words
 the community.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state your opinion and outline your main points. Try to make it more direct.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well. This will help improve the overall structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use simpler and clearer sentences. Avoid long or complicated sentences that might confuse readers.
task achievement
You provided valid reasons for your viewpoint, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your thoughts, ending the essay on a strong note.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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