Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work.

Children have a

childhood which

Suggestion

child, which

child which

is meant to be enjoyed and it's not a time to get jobs

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Making child work is like destroying their childhood and innocence. Child Labour is considered as one of the biggest crimes in almost every country

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And there are very few countries who enforce laws for

such

acts

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I have seen many children ages 3-15 years working in factories, on roads and begging on

streets

Suggestion

the streets

. They have equal rights as other children have

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It's there age of studying Not working

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Our young kids are the future of our country they should be supported to study for the prosperity of our country and coming generations.

Secondly

, when small kids go

for

Suggestion

work they have to face hard things at

very young age

Suggestion

a very young age

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They learn things that are not meant for them

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It's like loosing all innocence. I'm the

end I

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end, I

would say all children have equal rights to have a good

life even they

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life, even as they

life even as they

are poor they should be given equal rights and government should pass a law on child labour and making it one of the biggest crimes.

Submitted by nabaaazhar on Fri Jan 24 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professional workers such as Doctors and Teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent Do you Agree or Disagree? TASK 2

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