The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.
Do we
born
talented or trained to have it? A question that initiated a heated debate between multiple parties. Change the verb form
bear
While
some people
claim that the greatest talented people
born
gifted, others believe that many other elements are playing a big role in developing Add a missing verb
are born
the
Correct article usage
a
person
ability. I agree to some extent with Change noun form
person's
this
as many other factors also
contributing
to building our talent. Wrong verb form
contribute
This
essay will discuss both sides of the arguments
and provide Fix the agreement mistake
argument
detail
Replace the word
detailed
explanation
with real examples.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why some Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
people
claimed that we are born skilled and talented. Firstly
, in the old ages
many famous artists discovered their talent by Add a comma
,ages
coincident
, and later they become the greatest in their field. Replace the word
coincidence
For example
, Shakaspeare
is known as one of the best writers Correct your spelling
Shakespeare
in
the globe. Change preposition
on
Secondly
, in the old ages, the tools or the equipment required for the artists
training were not available, so if you don`t have the natural skill you will never learn it.
Change noun form
artist's
artists'
On the other hand
, other people
are supporting the idea of different factors are playing a big role in the
talent life. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, the person
will gain massive facilities from his surrounding people
like parents
. Correct pronoun usage
his parents
For example
, my son likes to play football and as a parent
we are providing him with all the tools and training to skill Add a comma
,parent
this
gift, and he became the best football player in his class (and he is one of the best football player
in the school). Change to a plural noun
players
Additionally
, many musicians influenced
by the environment to become the greatest musicians performing on stage.
Add a missing verb
were influenced
To sum up
, whatever people
are claiming, any person
can be born talented or do hard work to get the skill. I profoundly think that both sides are equally right with their idea, and many other factors besides
the natural gift will add a
value to the talented Correct article usage
apply
person
.Submitted by adnan_jaber on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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