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Band 4.5

Fewer and fewer people today right by hand using a pen pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or a negative development?

#people #right #hand #pen #pencil #brush #development
In the modern world, many
people
 are not keen to write by hand, because alternative ways,
such
 as computer writing, are much more convenient and comprehensive.
However
, I believe that digital devices cannot replace the old methods of writing,
such
 as using a pen, pencil or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brush, because
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are extremely useful for short notes and plans. It is widely thought that the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing keyboards
instead
 of ink-pens is the development of advanced technologies. Nowadays, modern
people
 are willing to use these new technologies, because
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are comfortable for writing longer stories and novels.
Secondly
, it gives an opportunity to edit the materials,
such
 as adding some features or schedules. To illustrate, writers can delete or change their notes after finishing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
In addition
, computer recording can be carried by flesh cards or online. It
gives
Verb problem
allows one
show examples
 to find or use the materials readily.
Although
 these changes can damage the old methods, many
people
 reckon that online recording is a positive tendency. First of all, using computer programs,
such
 as Microsoft Word, Excel and
Power Point
Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
show examples
 can help to spread information
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the world. It
gives
Verb problem
allows
show examples
 users to print and copy them easily.
Secondly
, using a new method gives an opportunity to translate the materials.
For example
, foreign words and symbols in the text can be translated automatically.
This
 can help to learn a foreign language through the internet resources. To recapitulate,
although
 many
people
 are keen to use computers in order to write an article or assignment, others feel that writing by hand cannot be replaced, because
this
 technique is very effective for notes and plans.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction is not well-presented and lacks adequate context for the topic. The conclusion appears abrupt and does not effectively summarize the main points. Work on providing a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task to a good extent, presenting reasons for the decrease in handwriting and discussing both positive and negative aspects of this trend. However, the response lacks depth and could benefit from providing more relevant specific examples to support the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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