IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Other however believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Nowadays, in most societies crime is an urgent problem. Some people consider that long prison sentences are necessary to reduce levels of antisocial behaviour. Others are finding that there are more effective alternative methods to lower crime rates.
This
 essay will discuss about both views and I will give my own opinion. In modern
society many
Accept comma addition
society, many
contries
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
centuries
 practice alternative methods
such
 as community service.
This
 gives
an
Suggestion
a
 prisoner
tha
definite article
the
to
that
 opportunity to give positive back to
society
 and it may improve their behaviour.
time
Suggestion
Time
Also
, spending a long
time
 term in prison with other criminals will not change
offenders character
Suggestion
the offender's character
offender's character
. I consider that work for the community more effective method than long
time
 sentences because the prisoner will focus on benefits for
society
. Other people believe that criminals need sentences of imprisonment for the long term.
Firstly
, spending a long
time
 in prison provides an opportunity to rehabilitate a prisoner.
Also
, criminals need to spend enough
time
 for re-education, which will avoid repeat offenders in the future. It is
perfect option
Suggestion
a perfect option
the perfect option
 for those who
commite
exchange positions without a change in value
commute
 the severe crimes
such
 as murder or assault, as justice for
victim
Suggestion
the victim
victims
 should take priority. To conclude, the government in every country could focus on the causes of crime and needs of
society
 to prevent offences.
This
 essay
containes
include or contain; have as a component
contains
 some arguments for and against long
time
 sentences, which prove my opinion.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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