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Writing Samples
Band 4

in today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both the parents to work. while some believe that children in these families benefit from the additional income, other believe that they feel lack of support because of their parents' absence. discuss both the views and give your opinion. give reasonable answer and include any example from your own experience.

#world #families #parents #work #believe #children #benefit #income #lack #support #absence
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in
Suggestion
In
 the past, where father used to go out
for
Suggestion
to
work
Use synonyms
 to earn money and a mother would stay at home to raise the kids while taking care of household
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
. Now in the current
world it
Accept comma addition
world, it
 is usual for
both
Use synonyms
 the parents to
work
Use synonyms
. In
modern world some
Suggestion
modern world, some
 parents in the society
believes
Suggestion
believe
 it is better if mother and father
both
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However some
Accept comma addition
However, some
suggests
Suggestion
suggest
 that it will benefit them in financially where some contradict that it will put the
child
Use synonyms
 into a situation where he will get the feeling of
lonelyness
the state of being alone in solitary isolation
loneliness
 and lack of support.
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that more money
definitely bring
Suggestion
definitely brings
 more options and financial stability into a
childs
Suggestion
child's
 life as he doesn't have to worry about money because he is capable of taking the decision as he is financially capable of doing things or starting a business.
Linking Words
moreover you
Accept comma addition
Moreover, you
Moreover you
 can always opt for expensive courses and you
dont
do not
don't
 have to worry about loans and rent, you can focus on your goal or study.
Linking Words
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, sometimes
child
Use synonyms
 started to feel alone and disconnected when his/her parents are not available when he/she needed them.
Linking Words
furthermore some
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, some
Furthermore some
 parents
spends
Suggestion
spend
 too much time at their
Use synonyms
work place
a place where work is done
workplace
 that they
dont
do not
don't
 get much time with their children and the
child
Use synonyms
 started to lose that connection at a very early age where they
develope
make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation
develop
 a transparent that they can't share much with their parents as they are always
bussy
actively or fully engaged or occupied
busy
.
For example
Linking Words
, when
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 was 15 years old a friend of mine used to
spent
Suggestion
spend
 his whole day at my place because
both
Use synonyms
 of his parents used to
work
Use synonyms
, so he doesn't like to go home as nobody was there with him to play with or talk to.
and
Suggestion
And
 even 10 years after he still
doesnt
does not
doesn't
 like to stay at home much and he
always say
Suggestion
always says
has always said
 that cannot share much with his parents as they are always
bussy
actively or fully engaged or occupied
busy
in
Suggestion
with
 something important where my importance fade away. To
conclude i
Accept comma addition
conclude, I
conclude I
 strongly recommend parents to spend enough time with their
child
Use synonyms
 no matter if they are working or not as it does makes a big difference.
Linking Words
moreover i
Accept comma addition
Moreover, I
moreover I
Moreover I
Moreover i
 certainly agree that in todays fast world where education and basic needs are getting expensive everyday
both
Use synonyms
parent
Suggestion
parents
 should find alternate ways or jobs to support the family
financialy
from a financial point of view
financially
 and morally

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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