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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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It appears that, in the modern
age
Use synonyms
 people are living longer than before because of, improving medical science that’s why people want that
age
Use synonyms
 limits of retirement should be risen.
This
Linking Words
 essay
discuss
Suggestion
discusses
 about how
age
Use synonyms
 people
are inspire
Suggestion
are inspired
are inspiring
 the young people and value of older people. It is commonly believed that, when people
are retired
Suggestion
retire
 from
job
Suggestion
a job
the job
 they feel they are useless and a burden for the society
also
Linking Words
 they cannot contribute anything for the country. Suppose they get termination after
Use synonyms
age
Suggestion
the age
 of 65 but people are alive approximately 90 years; so,
rest
Suggestion
the rest
 of the their life they have nothing to do; that’s why they want their retirement
age
Use synonyms
 should be rise, so that, they can contribute more for the society and set an example for
the young
Suggestion
the younger
 generation that at the
last
Linking Words
 stage of their
age
Use synonyms
 they contribute
for
Suggestion
to
 social welfare and growth of
economic
Suggestion
economies
economy
.
However
Linking Words
, when people retired from their activities they are considered as an asset to the society because they already work hard for the organisation as well as the nation.
Farthermore
in addition
Furthermore
, they invest their valuable knowledge, energy, time for betterment of the country economically. In that case, evacuation is the award for them; so that, they can take care of their health and give time to their family.
For example
Linking Words
, the government pays pensions, health benefits to the retired people as an award for their
sacrification
The act of scarifying
scarification
. In conclusion, I can say that, old people are the treasured for the country; so, in
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, I cannot clearly say that, when they had been get retired from work it was their decision that, weather
,
Accept space
,
 they want to work more or not.
Submitted by taniakhan192 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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