IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Businesses
Use synonyms
 have always sought to make a profit, but it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that
companies
Use synonyms
 have. I completely agree with the idea that
businesses
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 should do more for
society
Use synonyms
 than simply make money. On the one hand, I accept that
businesses
Use synonyms
 must make money in order to survive in a competitive world. It seems logical that the priority of any
company
Use synonyms
 should be to cover its running costs,
such
Linking Words
 as employees’ wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs,
companies
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also
Linking Words
 need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If a
company
Use synonyms
 is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant.
In other words
Linking Words
, a
company
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 can only make a positive contribution to
society
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 if it is in good financial health.
On the other hand
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,
companies
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 should not be run with the sole aim of maximising profit; they have a wider role to play in
society
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. One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than
exploiting
Wrong verb form
exploit
show examples
 them. For example, they could pay a “living wage” to ensure that workers have a good quality of life. I
also
Linking Words
 like the idea that
businesses
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 could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities, environmental projects or education initiatives.
Finally
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,
instead
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 of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that
company
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 bosses should be happy to contribute to
society
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 through the tax system. In conclusion, I believe that
companies
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 should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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