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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of the mobile phones?

#phones #forms
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It is unquestionable that the advance of technology contributes significantly to people’s daily life, and
cell
Use synonyms
 phones must be one of them.
However
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, mobile phones lead widespread problems in relation to
social
Suggestion
the social
 medical and technical are increasingly serious nowadays.
This
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 essay will explore both the positive and negative points of using
mobile
Suggestion
a mobile phone
mobile phones
phone
Use synonyms
. As mobile phones gain more popularity now, several related social issues occurred. Mobile phones enable people
keep
Suggestion
to keep
 in contact
to
Suggestion
with
 each other
anytime anywhere
Accept comma addition
anytime, anywhere
 as a portable communicate tool which makes their work and life more convenient.
However
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, misusing mobile phones,
for example
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, people speaking loudly on
Use synonyms
phone
Suggestion
the phone
phones
 in public areas
such
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 as cinemas, libraries and hospitals where people are supposed to be quiet, which is considered as socially impolite and offensive.
Besides
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, the overly reliant
of
Suggestion
on
cell
Use synonyms
 phones may reduce people’s face-to-face communication and feel a sense of isolation since people spend more time to deal with their phones rather than talk with people around them, especially the younger generation. It is
also
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 worth mentioning that utilize of mobile phones would cause some lethal health effects.
Although
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, phones not only use for
communication but
Accept comma addition
communication, but
also
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 function as internet browser, music player, personal
organizers etc
Accept comma addition
organizers, etc.
organizers etc.
, and almost everyone are using a
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 now regardless of their age and occupation. Yet it has been proven that overuse of electronic devices, including mobile phones could lead to a greater possibility of suffering hearing loss and even cancer as strongly irradiation, though the
further
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 investigation is needed. Apart from social and health issue, concerns of technical problems related to
mobile
Suggestion
mobile phones
phone
Use synonyms
 is rising as well, because people always exchanging information or sending emails via phones and their conversation could probably be intercepted by a
third
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 party.
Nevertheless
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, these
sort
Suggestion
sorts
 of
electrics security
Accept comma addition
electrics, security
 problems
could be restrict
Suggestion
could be restricted
 as long as some reliable regulate system operated effectively.
Overall, despite of
Suggestion
Overall, despite
 various problems happened because of utility of
cell
Use synonyms
 phones, they still regarded as prominent
multifunctional
Suggestion
 tools in most people’s daily life. Personally, I hold the view that the advantages of
use
Suggestion
the use
 of phones overtaking its disadvantages as long as people using it reasonable as loads of people in
this
Linking Words
 modern society may feel inconvenient without mobile phones.
Submitted by thejudgementday999 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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