IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organization. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life
For some individuals it is common to devote all their
work
 time to the same
company
, while other people prefer to make periodic career shifts from one
company
 to another. In
this
 essay, I will overview the features of the both approaches as well as provide with my personal thoughts regarding related career planning issues. On the one hand, employees who
work
 for the same firm the whole life express the maximum level of loyalty and devotion.
Moreover
, in terms of professionalism an employer sees in these people the most valuable, reliable and experienced specialists. The
company
 leaders
therefore
 are highly interested in encouraging more and more workers to stay within the
company
 as long as possible by providing additional bonuses and rewards. At the same time the employees themselves feel more comfortable and stable working at the same place with the same colleagues.
On the other hand
, for individuals who try to realize their potential and seek career opportunities may be more attractive to move periodically through different companies. It allows them not only to look for better roles and positions beyond the current employer but
also
 to expand
boundaries
Suggestion
the boundaries
 for changing industry, direction or even region for better perspectives if needed.
Furthermore
, the
work
 change always helps people to put themselves out of the comfort zone, which in turn have an impact on their personal and professional development. While the benefits of working
long
Suggestion
longer
 for the same
company
 are
obvious especially
Accept comma addition
obvious, especially
 in conditions of constantly changing environment, I strongly believe that the most efficient way for a person who want to develop and grow is to always look possibilities for
promotion
Suggestion
promoting
 not only inside the
company
 but
also
 outside
on
Suggestion
of
 the
work
 market as a whole and use these possibilities immediately. Only
this
 approach could reach the maximum goals and bring spectacular success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: