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Band 5

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

#cars
Using cars
has been becoming
Suggestion
has become
 increasingly common in recent years.
Although
Ithink
Suggestion
I think
 that it maintains some obvious harmful consequences, I strongly believe
thatthe
Suggestion
that the
 advantages of the
car
 can outweigh its advantages. On the one hand, owning cars has a significant influence on the environment. The
first
 reason is that the growth in travelling by
car
 can lead to a rise in pollution, traffic jams, and accidents. More cars are likely to result in
rocketing rate
Suggestion
a rocketing rate
 of pollution.
Secondly
, our dependence on cars can lead to decrease in practices,
such
 as walking and cycling. People may have a higher chance of carrying more potential health
risks like
Accept comma addition
risks, like
 obesity and heart attack.
On the other hand
, there are many reasons why people prefer to own cars.
Firstly
, it provides people with the freedom of movement. The ease of
transportation which
Accept comma addition
transportation, which
 a
car
 brings is significant/prominent than any other form of vehicles.
For example
, you can go from a destination to another destination and no time is wasted waiting for the bus or train.
Therefore
, time and distance are not barriers anymore.
Secondly
, personal cars can give comfort while travelling compared to the public transports which are so crowded and disgusting.
For instance
, you can
read
Suggestion
Read
 books, listen to your favourite songs or even play with kids while you are in your own
car but
Accept comma addition
car, but
 all seems to be impossible on a public transport.
Finally
, families can go together.
This
 becomes especially helpful when there are elderly, the disabled or even sick members in the families. In conclusion, having a
car
 can lead to a few obvious problems, but I believe that owning a
car
 is the best choice and the benefits that it brings about can outshine its drawbacks.
Submitted by iambrijeshpatel19 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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