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Band 4.5

rich countries should aallow jobs for skilled and knowlegeable employers who are from poor coutries. Do you agree or disagree.

#countries #aallow #jobs #knowlegeable #employers #coutries
Even after the decades of modernisation I can clearly say with credence, that in most of
the countries, rich
Suggestion
the rich countries,
 has been always rich and poor has been always poor, even after lots of great supports and changes by the government.Which in my opinion
job
 is the main cause of it, by
favering
promote over another
favouring
fathering
furthering
 wealthy people with better
job
 without knowing their skills which
lands
Suggestion
land
 in leaving behind the poor people assuming them as lesser privilege.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
in my opinion
,
Accept space
,
I
belief
Suggestion
believe
believed
 that it's important for rich countries to give
job
Suggestion
jobs
 to skilled and knowledgeable
employers
a worker who is hired to perform a job
employees
 from poor countries, cause it may bring large scale of development which they never aspect.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
even if rich countries
has
Suggestion
have
 their own skilled and high knowledge
employer but
Accept comma addition
employer, but
 they are not same as
skilled
Suggestion
a skilled employer
employer
 from poor countries because
this
plural of "this"
these
peoples
Suggestion
people
 are more hard working and loyal towards what they are doing with
perfect goal
Suggestion
the perfect goal
 in their mindset.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
it
bring
Suggestion
brings
 better environment and trust within workers.
Secondly
, the way the poor countries think can be very helpful and logic.
For example
, to improve
an
Suggestion
a
 country we have to able to think from both the
aspect
Suggestion
aspects
 of rich and poor
,
Accept space
,
therefore
 being from poor
countries these
Accept comma addition
countries, these
 employers know what is the weakness of the country and how to tackle the hardest problems due to their experience.
Lastly
,
Accept space
,
likewise
 in
ladhak
 being
an
Suggestion
a
 one of the small developing state in India there was scarcity of
water but
Accept comma addition
water, but
 one teacher has invented
an
Suggestion
a
 method to save water for whole the year which has been
great benefit
Suggestion
a great benefit
 for them. In
conclude
Suggestion
concluding
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 want to reiterate that if we want to develop once
country it's
Accept comma addition
country, it's
 very important to give
job
Suggestion
jobs
 to skilled and knowledgeable
employer
 from poor countries
then
 giving to
rich countries
Suggestion
a rich country's employer
rich country's employer
employer
 without any skill and knowledge.
Submitted by tnyidon193 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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