IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #people #parents #time #work #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the youth's participation on community issue has enhanced day by day, some people's believe that massive changes in living standard
is
Suggestion
are
 one of the main
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for the involvement of juveniles on social issues like alcoholism, enhancing criminal activities, lack of qualified workforce and
etc
the thing named or in question
it
its
.
Accept space
.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that if parents have less attention and less care towards their children, it will be increasing the chances of teen's involvement on
such
Linking Words
 social issues.
This
Linking Words
 is the era of modernization, people are spending more time with their work and busy in maintaining their status
on
Suggestion
in
society
Use synonyms
. Among these, they don't have adequate time to monitor children.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there will be a high
chances
Suggestion
chance
 of bad accompany of friends since they have more freedom.
This
Linking Words
 will insist them to involve
on
Suggestion
in
such
Linking Words
 criminal activities and enhancing the social violence by including in illegal drug, alcoholism, and smoking etc. Children are the future of
country
Suggestion
the country
, so parents should provide
conducive environment
Suggestion
a conducive environment
 to boost their self confidence and support them to get
quality education
Suggestion
a quality education
. As
teenager
Suggestion
teenagers
a teenager
, they are vulnerable emotionally and not ready to take
right decision
Suggestion
the right decision
 about their life. In
such
Linking Words
 situation, they will not give that much important to their studies and career.
However
Linking Words
, in
near future
Suggestion
the near future
, the
society
Use synonyms
 will face
lack
Suggestion
a lack
 of efficient and educated workforce,
as a result
Linking Words
 it will
directly effect to
Suggestion
directly effect
 the development of
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
. In conclusion, parents are the
first
Linking Words
 teacher of children and it's an obligation of guardian to show the correct way and help them to be a part of
society
Use synonyms
. Modernization is
demand
Suggestion
demanding
 of time.
However
Linking Words
; we should not negligence to the children need,
this
Linking Words
 will affect their growth and increase the social issues.
Parent
Suggestion
A parent
The parent
 should always give
first
Linking Words
 priority to their children for their bright future and to create
civilize
Suggestion
a civilize society
society
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: