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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates how many men and
women
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 in
further
Linking Words
 education
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 studying full-time or part-time in Britain from periods 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91. The numbers are measured in thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
, there's an increased number of male and female full-time
students
Use synonyms
. There is
also
Linking Words
 a steady growth in
women
Use synonyms
 studying part-time in
further
Linking Words
 education even surpassing the males by the year 1990/91,
while
Linking Words
 men
students
Use synonyms
 had a decline in the year 1980/81. In 1970/71 male part-time
students
Use synonyms
 are more dominant than
women
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 with 1 million
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, by 1980/81 the
male
Correct quantifier usage
number of male
show examples
part timers
Add a hyphen
part-timers
show examples
 decreased by almost 80%. And by the end of 1990/91 male part-timers were just over 800 thousand
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 have 1200 million enrollees
thus
Linking Words
 making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female
students
Use synonyms
 at the top spot of student part-timers. The number of both men and
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time education increased from 1970/71 to 1900/91, with a significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in female full-time
students
Use synonyms
 from just about 100 thousand in 1970/71 to above 200 thousand in 1980/81.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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