IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Educating children is more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#children #time #cell #phone #games #websites #support
There is no doubt that during the recent decade technology has left huge impacts on our life. Education of
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
 is one of
crucial issues
Suggestion
the crucial issues
 in every society attracts the attention of many researchers and psychologists. While some of them believes that new technological achievements
such
 as cellphone, online games and social networking have positive impacts on the
children
Suggestion
child's
children's
 education, others hold
this
 idea that these new technologies take a lot of time
from
Suggestion
for
 children, so they cannot devote enough time to their assignments. From my vantage point, these technologies not only does not make any problem for
children education
Suggestion
a child's education
child's education
children's education
, but
also
 it provides a wonderful opportunity for them to learn their courses by using these technologies.
First
 of all, these new technologies have provided a good connection for students from all over the world. These days different social groups which
is
Suggestion
are
 accessible by using your cell phone can help children to share their opinion with each other and ask for help if they have some problems in their assignments.
In addition
, some online games help students to learn how to work with others in order to achieve the purposes that you want.
For example
, they join
to
Suggestion
in
 a battle game with children
form
a giver or sender
from
 several countries to conquer others. These group working can teach them how they can help each other in courses in order to become successful.
Moreover
, in the past learning some courses was so difficult because these technologies were not invented. One of the these courses was
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
 course.
In
Suggestion
At
During
this
 time we can communicate with people from each
parts
Suggestion
part
 of
world
Suggestion
the world
 easily, so we ask their help to learn their
language
 as soon as possible.
children
Suggestion
Children
should not be worry
Suggestion
should not worry
should not be worried
 about how they should learn a foreign
language
such
 as
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
,
german
Suggestion
German
, and so on because they can contact
to
Suggestion
with
 native teacher ask his help. They can regular
language
classes even
Accept comma addition
classes, even
 by using their
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
 without anything else.
Also
, online games can help them to memorize words and their definition. They can join different social networks talk with other learners and become aware of the methods that they use to learn a
language
 better. In conclusion, I firmly believe that technology not only has not make educating a difficult task, but
also
 assists children to learn more efficiently because of
providng
give something useful or necessary to
providing
 a good
connetion
a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it)
connection
 for children from all over the world and making easier learning of some of the courses.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Attention span
  • Critical thinking
  • Misinformation
  • Cyberbullying
  • Emotional development
  • Parental involvement
  • Adaptive learning
  • Teaching strategies
  • Distracted learning
  • In-depth learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: