Some people think that dangerous sports such as boxing, or motor-racing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #sports

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is undeniable that some

sports

are likely considered to be risky and unsafe for some people. In my opinion, some of these

sports

should not be allowed for a couple of reasons. First of all, boxing is a kind of a sport that might

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

fatal injuries for athletes in the long run.

This

is because an athlete might be hit in the head repetitively, which will damage the brain.

For instance

, the iconic boxer Mike Tyson, which

considers

Wrong verb form

considered

show examples

one of the strongest players in boxing is, unfortunately, suffering from

Parkinson

Change noun form

Parkinson's

show examples

disease

due to

this

kind of

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

Moreover

, doctors announced that the main reason behind

this

disease is being hit many times

into

Change preposition

show examples

very sensitive areas.

In contrast

, if he did not play

this

kind of

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

, he would not have

this

disease.

Furthermore

, another type of

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

that should be banned is

motor-racing

Correct your spelling

motor racing

show examples

. The reason behind it is that racers sometimes lose the ability to control their bikes

due to

high speed, as these bikes can simply exceed 300

kilo-meters

Correct your spelling

kilometres

show examples

per hour.

Therefore

, deadly accidents might occur and

resulted

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in death. To illustrate, Michael Schumacher was recently suffering from a coma for 5 years

due to

a deadly accident in the World Race Championship. Officials said that he lost control

Change preposition

show examples

one of the curves

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

resulted in serious injuries.

On the contrary

, if he was not driving at a high speed on that curve, he would not be able to be in

this

coma for many years.

To conclude

, many

sports

should be prohibited to save lives.

Although

such

sports

bring

excitements

Fix the agreement mistake

excitement

show examples

through the crowds, athletes can suffer from serious injuries.

Submitted by zaid.qassem1991 on Thu Jan 30 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the question, with relevant ideas and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure is clear but could be improved with better transitions between ideas and more cohesive linking throughout the essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that computer games can be detrimental for children's health. Others think that they can be great for education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued by some that playing computer games can have harmful consequences on children's health, while there are others who believe that computer games are beneficial in terms of education. In my opinion, I believe that computer games can badly affect children's eyesight and encourage a sedentary lifestyle, whereas different computer games can help children learn and practice a new language.
5
band
Most countries spend large amounts of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A school of thought holds that governments should allocate money to help underdeveloped nations instead of spending on boosting their military prowess because they are not facing imminent threat of war. In my opinion, I agree with this view.
8
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
There are a variety of benefits of the Industrial Revolution, but there are many negative effects, especially the decline of animals and plants in some parts of the world. This essay will discuss why this phenomenon is happening and what could be done to solve it.
7.5
band
Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling. *
I am lucky enough to have grown up in a family prioritising health over anything. My mother taught me about oral hygiene awareness from an early age. Because of that, I never had severe dental issues in my life. She also likes to ensure we have enough fruit and vitamin stocks at home. Nonetheless, my father is conscious of the importance of physical activity and always reminds me to exercise regularly in order to maintain my physical condition. In our leisure time, my family likes to train together. However, in my early years of medical school, I could not exercise regularly due to the strict academic timetable. Sometimes, I also eat outside and ignore the food’s nutrition. Unfortunately, I caught a gastrointestinal infection right in the week of my clinical skills assessment, which is essential for my grade. The doctor’s examination shows I am severely dehydrated and need an intravenous infusion. That was my first time getting an infusion since I have never been hospitalised except...
5
band
Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Currently, technology has advanced so much to an extent that it has lead to effects to how individuals interact with one another. Although internet has increased isolation among people, I strongly believe that it has lead to positive development due to the fact that it strengthen binding.

Some people think that dangerous sports such as boxing, or motor-racing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that computer games can be detrimental for children's health. Others think that they can be great for education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most countries spend large amounts of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling. *