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Writing Samples
Band 4

"Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the *causes* of this? What are the *effects* of this on individuals and on the society?"

#people #time #home #*causes* #*effects* #individuals #society
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Special family moments are fast diminishing. In recent times,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of people spend more
time
Use synonyms
 outside their homes and
this
Linking Words
 can have some consequences.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why persons spend little moments with their families and
it’s
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 effects on individuals and the public.
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of workers attribute their busy schedules to workloads and struggle to meet deadlines
,
Accept space
,
to some extent
this
Linking Words
 can be accepted considering
difficulties
Suggestion
the difficulties
 experienced in securing good jobs
thus
Linking Words
 one tends to protect any available with all interest.
On the other
Linking Words
hand some
Accept comma addition
hand, some
 do not value family ties
therefore
Linking Words
 are indifferent about spending more
time
Use synonyms
 at home, in
such
Linking Words
 scenarios you see individuals plan activities that would keep them preoccupied throughout the weekdays and weekends
also
Linking Words
.
Although
Linking Words
 everyone is entitled to choice of living
,
Accept space
,
as to where to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 at yet the consequences are enormous.
Firstly
Linking Words
 the young ones raised in
such
Linking Words
 homes
hardly know
Suggestion
hardly knows
 the importance of Unity, they grow up accepting the norm that home is not really where the loved ones are
hence
Linking Words
 the tendency to misplace priorities later on.
Secondly
Linking Words
 the most important agent of socialization is considered to be the home
therefore
Linking Words
 there are some values that family times teach,
such
Linking Words
 as
;
Accept space
;
respect, mannerism, and lots more. Spending more
time
Use synonyms
 outside the homes limits the learnings and experiences which members of the family should have gotten
firsthand
Suggestion
first hand
 from, and in my opinion once the right values are not inculcated the society at large suffers as we will have less emphatic humans to relate with. I
n conclusion everyo
Suggestion
conclusion, everyone
ne should be intentional about creating quality
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their families despite workplace factors and personal choices because the consequences that will arise by some choices they make now will be long lasting and of course disastrous
Submitted by godofolakemi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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