Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

#people #home #address

It is undeniable fact that many of us live in fear either at home or outside

home

Suggestion

the home

. Through

this

essay I will enunciate three main causes and solutions.

Firstly

, in today’s educational

system there

Accept comma addition

system, there

is no scope for holistic training. Most

curriculum

Suggestion

curriculums

are designed with the aim of intellectual training,

thus

physical and emotional training

are neglected

Suggestion

is neglected

therefore

many professional are lacking knowledge of martial arts. Due to which many cannot handle any untoward criminal activities.

Nevertheless

, if every educational institution

incorporate

Suggestion

incorporates

holistic curriculum, the issue can be reduced to

maximum

Suggestion

a maximum

the maximum

Secondly

, since many of us live alone either for job requirements or to pursue higher education, we lack security in

new community

Suggestion

a new community

For instance

, many of my colleagues are from different cities and they hardly have time to communicate with their

neighbors

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

. Many of them do not know who lives in their

door.

Hence they

Accept comma addition

Hence, they

always worry and fear as there is no social support for them.

However

Accept comma addition

However, this

this

can be solved if every individual takes an oath to socialize with their

neighbors

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

in spite of every constraint. When we mingle with each other, we need not worry about safety as we have many helping hands nearby.

Finally

, the imbalance between the demands for job and the availability has lead to increase in the levels of unemployment.

Therefore we

Accept comma addition

Therefore, we

see increased incidences of anti-social activities. The possible solution is opening up many avenues for

such

unemployed people to invest their time productively. Government can provide part time jobs, loans at subsidized rates to encourage and motivate young people. In a nutshell, these are few of the possible causes and solutions which would take the fear and give peace to every individual.

Submitted by kandivenkatesh99 on Thu Jan 30 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Perceive
Threat
Crime
Fear
Accident
Natural disaster
Personal security
Trust
Authorities
Social isolation
Loneliness
Media
News coverage
Community safety measures
Personal security awareness
Transparency
Support networks
Community involvement

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Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computer and Al technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this positive or negative development?

Nowadays, when popular consumer products sell well, it is not because of societal requirements but because of advertising's influence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?