IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #habits #lifestyles #children #generations #people #effect #health
In today's world, a great deal of nations
are facing
Suggestion
is facing
 a big issue that youngsters tend to have poor lifestyle and consuming habits, which are different from the
generaions
all the people living at the same time or of approximately the same age
generations
 of their parents or grandparents. Some people assert that
this
 unhealthy tendency has had drawbacks to
children
Suggestion
children's
child
child's
 health. Personally, I entirely agree with
this
 view, and believe that
this
 alarming situation has come about for several reasons.
To begin
 with, the eating
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
 have changed nowadays, children no more eat fruits and vegetables as much as previous generations. Processed
food
 and fast
food
 become
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
 dishes in
this
 generation. Not only fast
food
 concern that becomes a big issue in
children
Suggestion
children's
child
 health, but other sweet products
such
 as chocolate, candy or cake
also
 another concern for them. They can easily be addicted
with
Suggestion
to
 these kinds of
food
instead
 of a healthy meal with fishes, vegetables and fruits...
This
 is why there has been a huge amount of
childern
a young person of either sex
children
 becoming obesity nowadays. Looking back to the previous generation, adults do care
abut
on the topic of
about
nutritional value
Suggestion
the nutritional value
 in each
dishes
Suggestion
dish
. They are aware that poor nutrition can affect
theie
Suggestion
the eye
the ie
 health negatively.
Moreover
, the way of living and addiction to modern technology has created
huge effect
Suggestion
a huge effect
the huge effect
 on children. Technologies like
social network
Suggestion
social networks
a social network
, video games have influenced children to spend
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of time
in in
to or toward the inside of
in
 front of electronic devices. Because of these children are not engaged in physical activities and
thus
 likely to develop eye problems and backache due to poor posture. But, when we look at the past, children were spending more time on sports and cultural activities like dancing, singing and playing which made them very fit and could get more involved with their
neighbors
a person who lives (or is located) near another
neighbours
 and society. All in all, though people develop the bad eating habits and poor lifestyle, Parents should take necessary measure to advise and encourage their children to participate in
out door
located, suited for, or taking place in the open air
outdoor
 activities and eat healthy foods like fresh fruits and vegetables. Together we can make a better life.
Submitted by tructhanhthanh1706 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: