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Writing Samples
Band 4

With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development
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In modern society,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer living in the
city
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
causes rising
Verb problem
increases
show examples
 the price of a house,
that is
Linking Words
 why
people
Use synonyms
, who are living in the
city
Use synonyms
, choose
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 with small or no outdoor area.
People
Use synonyms
 have different opinions on the
effects
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 issue. The negative and positive
effects
Use synonyms
 will be discussed
as well as
Linking Words
 my personal opinion regarding
this
Linking Words
 issue. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smaller
houses
Use synonyms
 and flats have positive
effects
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals,
such
Linking Words
 as
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 money or
time
Use synonyms
. In modern society,
people
Use synonyms
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 at work, so if
people
Use synonyms
 have a small house or flat it will
make reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
time
Use synonyms
 for cleaning. The
people
Use synonyms
 chose the smaller
houses
Use synonyms
 or flats because of their budget. The small
houses
Use synonyms
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 stay in the
city
Use synonyms
. As seen clearly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
houses
Use synonyms
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in the
city
Use synonyms
.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand,
although
Linking Words
 the small size family,
such
Linking Words
 as
one-parent
Correct article usage
the one-parent
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 family or the nuclear family, increased in modern society, the small
houses
Use synonyms
 or flats are not suitable for the families who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children.
For example
Linking Words
, the juveniles need their own space,
however
Linking Words
, the small house may
cannot
Remove a modal verb
not
show examples
 provide that to them.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
houses
Use synonyms
, which do not have outdoor areas, have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 air circumstance problem. It is necessary to children for their immune system, and it
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
 negative
effects
Use synonyms
 to grew up the children.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lack of space causes mental and health problems to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families. In conclusion, in terms of
time
Use synonyms
 and money,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 with small or no outdoor areas can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 positive impacts,
however
Linking Words
, the negative
effects
Use synonyms
 are much bigger and
serious
Correct quantifier usage
more serious
show examples
. I strongly believe that it does more harm than good.
People
Use synonyms
 should consider
this
Linking Words
 problem and
try
Add the particle
try to
show examples
 find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Submitted by 02seongah on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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