in many countries,primar and secondary schools close for two months or more int he summer holidays. what is the value of long school holidays

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Many countries give children a break from school for around two months. Some opine that these breaks should be cut shorter.
This
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essay will discuss the significance and argument in favour of shorter breaks.Children in educational institutions have semesters of intense studying throughout the
year
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. The break gives students a period to unwind and do the things they like or require for the future. During
this
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timeframe, some utilise it to prepare their portfolios and study for the next academic
year
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.
For instance
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, high school seniors use
this
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time
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to get their community service volunteer hours, prepare for aptitude tests or enhance their portfolio with activities and internships.
This
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is
due to
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having limited
time
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during semesters to do extracurricular activities since studying, preparing and giving exams takes up a significant portion of
time
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.
This
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includes my own experience and what I have witnessed my classmates and batch mates do.
However
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, the approximate timeframe given for the holidays may be too long of a timeframe. Kids
at
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, at
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times
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times,
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spent all day at home in their rooms rather than doing something productive. Namely, children lose momentum to study and get distracted.
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is because they spend hours playing games and watching movies with no supervision since their parents go to work.
Consequently
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, parents ,especially both heads of the family who bring income, say that the breaks should be made shorter.
In addition
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, it overtime resulted in demotivation to learn things ahead of
time
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for their subjects next
year
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.
For example
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, my younger sister has to attend extra classes when the academic
year
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commences to keep up with the content.
Furthermore
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, she has mentioned that the majority of her classmates attend
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,
as well as
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;
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her friends from several different schools.
This
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is mainly because a rather large part of their vacation goes to playing games
instead
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of attending workshops or putting in hours to good use.From my perspective, the rest given is crucial for them to relax their mind and catch up on the sleep they missed out , but how they utilise the period is vital.
Overall
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, the primary and secondary day schools should close for the summer holidays but for a shorter term so they can prioritise agendas, be productive and enhance their skills.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first part. Say clearly what the value of long holidays is before you talk about shorter breaks.
task response
Keep one clear view through the essay. You support holidays, but you also support shorter holidays. This makes your main idea less clear.
task response
Add one or two more clear points about the good side of long holidays, such as family time, rest, travel, or learning life skills.
task response
Use examples that are simple and clearly linked to your main point. Some examples are good, but they are a bit long and personal.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea only. Some body parts mix the value of holidays with the problem of long breaks.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words in a simple way, like First, Also, However, For example, As a result, and In short.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow. Some lines are too long, and this makes the meaning hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small breaks and commas. Wrong stops can make your ideas seem less joined.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both the good side of holidays and the problem of very long breaks.
task response
You give real examples from school life, and this helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
You use link words like For instance, However, Consequently, In addition, and Overall.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rest and relax
  • feel fresh
  • return to school
  • family time
  • strong family bond
  • free time
  • learn life skills
  • help at home
  • read for fun
  • play sports
  • join a summer club
  • healthy routine
  • fresh air
  • active lifestyle
  • explore interests
  • find a new hobby
  • personal growth
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • prepare for the new school year
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