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Band 6.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HAVING A SET RETIREMENT AGE (EG 65 YEARS) FOR EVERYBODY, REGARDLESS OF OCCUPATION, IS UNFAIR. THEY BELIEVE THAT A CERTAIN WORKERS DESERVE TO RETIRE AND RECEIVE A PENSION AT AN EARLIER AGE. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? WHICH TYPE OF WORKERS DO YOU THINK SHOULD BENEFIT FROM EARLY RETIREMENT?

#people #retirement #age #eg #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
Most of the people Almost
work
 for their entire life for earning a living. As the
age
 increases people start keeping an eye on their
retirement
 plans. On
retirement
, pension is considered to be a great benefit. A group of people
are
Suggestion
is
 of an opinion that declaring a designated
age
 limit for
retirement
 for all is not suitable as working style differ from
person
 to
person
. It is to be believed for a class of workers that they should be released from their jobs at an early
age
 along with their pensions. In my opinion, I agree that the criteria set for the
retirement
 should not be fixed rather it should be flexible depending on the nature of the job. People jobs and their capabilities differ from each other.
This
 means that the
retirement
 plan should be decided according to
it
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
.
Furthermore
, a
person
 performing all of its responsibilities in an effective manner should keep on working, regardless of
age
.
For example
, an accountant in my office is carrying on his duties efficiently even at the
age
 of 68 years.
On the other hand
, some jobs require more physical energy as compare to other jobs.
This
 means the
age
 factor plays a vital role in these jobs. People doing these types of jobs should be released at an earlier
age
 as their body strength is decreasing with increasing
age
.
For example
 a
person
 working in a cement industry should get retire earlier as he/she would be unable to carry on the
work
. To conclude, increasing of
age
 does
has
Suggestion
have
 an effect on the
work
 and I somewhat agree that
retirement
 plans should be decided according to the nature of
work
, physical and mental strength of a
person
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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