IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the given table the comparison of the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
Ashdown
Correct article usage
the Ashdown
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 has been stated on the basis
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 refurbishment’s before and after year visits.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 in both of the given pie charts, the
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 level of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 has been placed based on the results of the surveys.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 had 74000
visitors
Use synonyms
 in total
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the prior year of the refurbishment but when the
museum
Use synonyms
 got refurbished the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased to 92000. In the previous year, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of dissatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 was nearly 40% but it decreased drastically to 15% after the required actions were taken to convert
this
Linking Words
 establishment into a nicely improved one. When the necessary steps were not taken, the visitor's satisfaction was negatively affected
as a consequence
Linking Words
 the portion of highly satisfied people was as low as 15%, which later on increased to 35% after the
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 got its new modified version.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the above discussion, it can be concluded that the refurbishment of
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 paid off really well, just as it was expected to perform.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, ashdown, museum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • very satisfied
  • satisfied
  • neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
  • dissatisfied
  • very dissatisfied
  • survey results
  • comparison
  • impact
  • effectiveness
  • visitor experience
  • overall improvement
  • increase/decrease in visitors
  • positive feedback
  • negative feedback
  • visitor survey
  • survey period
What to do next:
Look at other essays: