IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In education and employment some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work
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It is true that several people put extra effort into study and
work
 than others. Generally speaking, people may have different reasons to
work
 harder. I believe that some of us has no choice, but
work
 and study harder.
For example
, if you come from a family which has no financial condition to pay your studies or even provide the basics,
naturally
Suggestion
nature
 as a human being you would try to find a job opportunity. In
this
 case being employed would allow you to help your family and
also
 pay your studies.
Furthermore
, if you start working hard at an early age, and
then
 go to university your chances of succeeding are most probably higher.
On the other hand
 working hard all the
time
 and not having
time
 for yourself is not a positive thing for our lives.
Firstly
, it is true that working hard can bring many good things into your
life
,
such
 as increasing your knowledge, promotion opportunity, and high salary.
However at
Accept comma addition
However, at
 the same
time
 over working without any limit can create negative consequences in your
life
, together with health issues, affecting your wellbeing and stress level.
Secondly
, you may not have enough
time
 to spend with your beloved ones, giving the impression that all that matters is your
work
 and nothing else. In reality, it is very important to know how to manage
time
 between our personal and professional
life
, not forgetting how important your health, peace of mind and your family is.
Finally
, employers tend to take advantage of their employees, knowing that they would do anything to keep their jobs, working extra hours, going out of their way doing anything that the job requires expecting for a promotion or a salary increase, but sometimes
as a result
 you may get disappointed for all the dedication given. In conclusion, while some people
work
 and study harder than others without a choice. As a matter of fact, it is important to keep balance between personal and professional
life
, setting up limits to not affect anyone around us as any other area of our lives.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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